JF :: Brain Farts :: Archive of April, 2002

Archive of April, 2002

Jason Needs an Income

April 30, 2002:

Kind of related to the "Jason Needs a New Job" series. Right now I just need an influx of money. A paycheck would do, but my *%^&$#@(*&%)(*% unemployment check that I signed up for online three and a half weeks ago would be a good start.

Especially seeing as how I'm going to have to put my bills on my credit card. That'll be fun to pay off later...

Progress, Slowly But Surely

April 29, 2002:

I'm in the middle of redesigning my site yet again. This time I'm adding the ability to "skin" the site by letting users choose their preferred layout, color scheme and type settings.

This is requiring me to do more retooling to each individual page than I'd hoped. Part of it's my fault -- the 4.0 and 4.5 redesigns don't include functional breadcrumbs -- and part of it is just because I understand a little bit more about CSS2. It's still slightly foreign to me (I'm used to just making giant tables) but I'm really digging the flexibility this is going to give me.

So, look for a redesign in a couple weeks.

Just How Gay Am I?

April 27, 2002:

A friend forwarded me a link to somebody's Gay Test. On a scale of 0-100% it rates just how gay you really are. I wound up with a 23%, which the test categorizes as "too straight." Which reminded me of a comment I heard a while back: "If it just meant that I could just be really witty and a snappy dresser, I'd be gay in a heartbeat. But the whole gay sex thing really seems like a turnoff." I'd say that sums it up pretty well.

Yay, All My Friends Are Here! Now Go Home!

April 26, 2002:

At Carnival I saw a bunch of people I hadn't seen in at least a year. And I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time talking to them. Not because I didn't have the chance to, just because I didn't have much to say. I felt like a broken record having to tell everyone I'd gotten fired (although one person very generously agreed to help me look for work in the DC area) so I just stopped talking to people. At dinner I sat with a handful of locals and actives and once I got back to the fraternity house for the party, I wound up throwing the frisbee around (poorly) with another alum who I instant-message with every couple of weeks.

I know it would've been better if I'd kept in touch with everyone, but I run into the same problem -- if I told you what was going on in my life 12 months ago, you know what's going on now, with the exception of losing my job. It was like fraternity rush all over again, only this time I was making idle chit-chat with people I've known for seven years.

The general atmosphere left a bit to be desired too. I was already tired of fraternity parties when I graduated, I'm still not too fond of them now. I've never been a club type, I'm more like a "sit around in a bar and shoot the breeze" type. There's just no real appeal left for me in blaring, bad music that leaves me unable to hear myself think -- I wound up sitting outside talking with more locals.

So in a nutshell, I was both glad to see everyone who came in and glad to see them all leave when I realized how lame I was.

My One Quote From Carnival

April 25, 2002:

It's going up on my quotes page too, but I figured this would also be a good place for it.

"I'm walking around campus thinking, 'where were all these cute girls when I was going here?' Then the logical part of my brain kicks in and says, 'junior high, dumbass.'"

The Effects of Too Much Free Time

April 24, 2002:

As I checked the calendar just now (shortly before midnight) two contradictory thoughts crossed my mind. First, from the Job Search part of my brain: "Geez, it's almost Wednesday already." Then, from the part of my brain that handles Web surfing, book reading and TV watching: "Shit, it's only Tuesday."

References in Dragonball Z

April 23, 2002:

Apparently some of the writers for the anime show Dragonball Z have a sense of humor. Well, at least one that goes above and beyond the general weirdness of the show. In the season currently being shown on Cartoon Network, a wizard named Bobbity is trying to resurrect a monster known as Buu (pronounced "Boo"). He's continuing the work of his father, Bibbity.

Bibbity. Bobbity. Buu.

Welcome To the 1980s

April 22, 2002:

On the way home from a Carnival party, I saw a guy with a mohawk. Regular readers (if I have any) should be able to fill in their own joke here.

Uhm, Oops. Never Mind.

April 20, 2002:

Apparently yesterday's entry went in twice for some reason. Oh well, come back tomorrow.

I Think LiveJournal's Pissed at Me

April 19, 2002:

That's odd. This is the second day in a row that the LiveJournals I check daily have come back as being empty documents. Hmm...

Also in the Computers Seem To Hate Me Department, it appears that the dxstg.org database doesn't want to let anyone register correctly now. *mutter-grumble*

Today's Quiz

April 18, 2002:

When is the most popular day to begin a workout regimen?

Wrong. Monday is the second-most popular day. The most popular day is "tomorrow."

Damn the Torpedos, Full Speed Ahe... OK, Maybe Not Full Speed

April 17, 2002:

Well, it's now 11:53 PM on the 16th. Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up early (10:00) and head down to the Eliza Furnace Trail (the "Jail Trail") to start my new regimen of rollerblading. I've also made a few improvements in the snacking department. Instead of little candybars, I'm now having a few spoonfuls of applesauce if I need a snack. (Hey, it's cold and sweet -- perfect for this summer-like weather we're having.) I've also opted for the fat-free Jello pudding cups.

Of course, I still have whole milk for my cereal (as opposed to, say, 1%) and a package of Nutter Butters. It's a start, anyway.

Trying to Stop Being a Fat-Ass, Take Two

April 16, 2002:

OK, now that I'm collecting unemployment and have a tiny bit of money to burn, I'm going to pick up a new pair of rollerblades and start skating every day again. Since I'm guessing 170 is a more appropriate weight for me, I need to lose 40 pounds. This may take a while...

And Just Like That My Geek Quotient Increases

April 15, 2002:

A couple weeks ago I found an online forum for two of the sites I frequent, Spinnwebe and Not My Desk. Now I have my very own avatar and I've posted a picture of me for everyone to see.

Just when you thought I couldn't possibly be more of a geek/attention whore, I go and surprise you.

Oh, Sweet Jesus...

April 13, 2002:

One of the most-feared construction projects in Pittsburgh is now underway: The closing of the Fort Pitt Bridge and Tunnel going outbound. Traffic is being routed around in a fairly effective manner, but the fact that the reason for the tunnel is a largish hill on the south side of the Mon and Ohio rivers makes having detours difficult.

For the most part, traffic is being routed onto the West End Bridge over the Ohio, which is two lanes wide. The Fort Pitt Bridge, where traffic has to funnel together from the Parkway North, the Parkway East and downtown, is four lanes wide. So to say that there's congestion is a bit of an understatement.

And I was caught in the first day of it when I left the Burgh to visit Akron for a week. Nobody had any idea what was going on yet. It took me 35 minutes to get out of the city at 3:30 in the afternoon. I can't imagine what it was like when the work day ended at 5:00 and the Pirates home opener let out (between 4:30 and 5:00). I do not envy the people living in the southern suburbs.

Slower Than a Pittsburgher in a Tunnel

April 12, 2002:

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.............

I'm visiting my family for the week, since my sister and brother-in-law came into town and I haven't seen them in a year and a half. Going from my DSL connection at home to the 56k connection here is like going from FedEx to the Pony Express.

1-800-DIE-DIE-DIE

April 11, 2002:

The people at 1-800-CALL-ATT are still at it. I breathed a sigh of relief when they got rid of David Arquette, only to find he'd been replaced with Carrot Top. And they haven't gotten rid of C.T. yet. Apparently they think that if they annoy us enough, we'll use their damn collect call number just to get rid of him.

Who Thought the Spice Girls Would Be a Good Idea?

April 10, 2002:

Well, if I wasn't already broke I'd be boycotting McDonald's right now. Using the Spice Girls "What I Want" for ads? Who dreamt that up?

Baseball Stuff

April 09, 2002:

As of this morning, the Pittsburgh Pirates were 2-1, and thus had a winning "percentage" of .667. This marks the first time they've been better than .500 since the 1999 season. They're that bad.

And they wonder why people were pissed when they raised ticket prices after losing 100 games last season.

The Middle East

April 08, 2002:

Well, everyone seems to be weighing in on how to make these maniacs stop killing each other, so I guess I might as well too.

First, here are what I'm pretty sure are the facts.

• Israel was created by a UN resolution after World War II. This country did not include the Gaza Strip or the West Bank.
• At its thinnest point, Israel was less than 10 miles wide, making it easy for an enemy to literally cut the nation in two.
• There is another UN resolution that allows for refugees to return to their home when displaced by a war.
• Israel has control of the "Occupied Territories" after capturing them (and the Golan Heights, which they later gave back) in various Arab-started wars.

So we have a problem of two conflicting ideals (not even getting into religion). On the one hand, Israel must be able to defend itself in what is an undeniably hostile area. On the other hand, not every Palestinian is a suicide bomber or other form of terrorist, and they really do deserve better than to live under Ariel Sharon's thumb.

And this leads to my plan, which I call GFW. Giant Fucking Wall. I'm talking a wall 100 feet high and 20 feet thick, with no openings. Calculate the total square mileage of the West Bank and make Palestine have that area, but not necessarily the shape. Israel needs another 30 miles to make itself defendable? Then Palestine extends farther south to compensate. And there's a Giant Fucking Wall between Israel and Palestine that nobody can get through.

Now, that leaves only one problem: Jerusalem. Both Israel and the Palestinian Authority claim an undivided Jerusalem as their capital. Well, neither one of 'em deserves it. Extend the wall around both sides of the city, completely enclosing it. There will be a four-lane gate at both the Israeli and Palestinian sides to allow people in and out. No weapons will be allowed; anyone attempting to enter the city with anything larger than a pocketknife will be imprisoned for five years with no chance of parole. NATO will run the jail and each country will maintain its own gate in conjunction with NATO (to make sure the Palestinian guards don't let a Palestinian carry in a gun, hand grenade, mortar, SCUD missle, etc.).

Now, here's where it starts to get weird. This new Palestine (which would probably have its capital in Ramallah) will need some serious rebuilding. Per capita, I think it's more heavily damaged then Germany after WWII. There's only one economy in the area that isn't being looted by an illigitimate leader -- Israel's. Let Israel team up with the US to create a new version of the Marshall Plan. Put Sharon on Al-Jazeera saying that with Israel's border secure, Israel will give her neighbors the help they so desperately need. Let Yasser Araffat, Mubarak, Abdullah and Saddam wrap their brains around that shit.

If history is any indicator they'll be able to rip the wall down sometime in the mid-2040s. Just enough time for two generations to grow up without their friends getting wiped out on the way to school and wonder what the hell their grandparents are so pissed off about.

Sounds silly, doesn't it? But it makes at least as much sense as any of the official recommendations. And that's the really sad part.

What's Been Bugging Me About Enterprise

April 06, 2002:

Since I started watching Enterprise on UPN, there's something that hasn't quite been sitting right. Nothing wrong with the show itself (although like any show it's had a few stinky episodes), something else. I think I've got it now: It's not in the Star Trek universe's past.

What I mean is, when they created the show they had to reverse-engineer a lot of things to make them look more primitive (it takes place about 100 years before the original series). But they didn't do it right.

The uniforms are believeable -- I've always wondered why they didn't wear jumpsuits all the time. But they ran backwards from the newer series -- the ranks are shown by markers on the collar (with four for a captain), admirals have markers on both sides of the collar, the shoulders are set off from the rest of the torso. Those are like the uniforms from Next Generation onward; the original series' uniforms had mono-color shirts with black collars and rank shown with stripes on the sleeves. The only thing they got right were the reversal of Command and Services colors -- The captain wears yellow and the engineers wear red, which is consistent with TOS.

The other major problem is with the ship itself. Ships in the original series were blockier than in the newer shows; this one is very sleek. The sad thing is, the "Technical Manual" they put together for Next Generation showed some "older" designs that looked like backwards extensions from TOS. I can't help but wonder why they didn't use them.

As a corollary, the warp nacelles are all wrong as well. In the original series, the Boussard collectors were multicolored and the nacelles themselves were completely enclosed. It was done that way in the movie First Contact, too. So we have to now accept that warp engines started out looking one way, then looked another way about 100 years later, then went back to the old way 100 years after that, then went back again 50-80 years after that.

There are things that are good as well, but we don't see them as often (at least one of the things above is in every scene).

Their hand-held weapons are phase-pistols and have only two settings, stun and kill. The Vulcan word? "Pha-sahr." (OK, I don't know how it's spelled -- you get the idea.) Maybe the humans made "phaser" a retronym?

Shipboard weapons are torpedos. Not photon torpedos, regular plain-ol' torpedos. The Klingons have photon torpedos, and they ain't sharing.

Again, nothing there to make me dislike the show. It's just something that grates on my geekiness a little. And it's something that could have been prevented with just a little work.

Fountain of Useless Knowledge

April 05, 2002:

After reading a friend's LiveJournal, I can see I'm not the only one whose brain bothers him with useless nonsense at all hours. That's nice; I'm probably not truly crazy.

That's not to say it's useful, though. True, I recently got a large entry on religion out of it, but for the most part it's stuff I could really do without. Like this:

I realized that for a while now, I've been older than my mother was when my younger sister was born. Genius that I am, I realized that the day I became that age, my sister became the age my mother was when I was born.

The part of my brain in charge of the useless information store started working on it. With no pen or paper to keep track of the math. I'm not going to do this now, I thought to myself. It's 2:30 in the morning and I've been trying to go to sleep for an hour and a half now. I'll figure it out in the morning.

Five minutes later, I had this: November 28, 2001. Shannon was 22 years and 232 days old; the age my mother was when I was born. I was 25 years and 36 days old; the age my mother was when my sister was born.

Yes, my mother was that young when I was born. Yes, I have trouble wrapping my brain around that. Yes, I also think my conscious mind should be able to exert a lot more control over my subconscious than it does.

Horribly, Horribly Wrong. I Loved It.

April 04, 2002:

I was watching the Daily Show just now, and saw an article about the Maryland Terrapins (whatever the hell a terrapin is) winning the NCAA basketball tournament. They showed pictures of the riot in College Park, MD, with the police moving in to break it up. Then the picture changed to a national guardsman with a rifle and the host finished: "Maybe it's a good thing Kent State didn't win."

I almost spit my dinner across the room.

Perhaps Missing the Point

April 03, 2002:

On the local news today (Mar. 28, '02) there's a story about a woman chaining herself to a telephone pole in her neighborhood, trying to force the city to install a stop sign on the corner. What's happening is this: People are speeding up and down this street (as opposed to the rest of the city; oh wait, no it's not) and a couple kids have been hit by cars lately.

The problem would be solved, the parents say, by forcing people to go slower. Um, how about teacing your dumbass kids not to run out in front of cars?

One Year

April 02, 2002:

Well, I've been doing this for a year now. My first entry was April 2, 2001.

My only regret is how disgustingly little has changed in that year. I still need a new job (OK, now I really need a new job, but you get the idea), I'm still single and bitter, I'm still a fat-ass.

Yay.

That Was a Bad Idea

April 01, 2002:

Note to self: No matter how out of food I am, even if I'm eating plain crackers because I'm out of everything else, never ever go to Giant Eagle during the day. There were at least three people who had corralled employees into helping them shop instead of doing their jobs and helping at the checkout lines. These employees had a tendency to walk next to their charges, thus blocking the whole aisle.

And since these people are apparently incapable of making their own decisions about anything, they were going really, really slow. Then I got to the checkout line, which was one of three non-express lanes that were open. There were no baggers working, so I chose the line with people who only barely missed being able to use the express lane.

Turns out the woman running that lane was Methuselah's older sister. I honestly can't believe she was on her feet and not in a home somewhere. She was that frail-looking. She was completely stooped over. Completely. She was actually looking down by default. Quasimoto wasn't hunched over that badly.

I'm just glad I didn't decide to go when the welfare checks and food stamps showed up in the mail.

Site Navigation

Brain Farts

Other Pages

Site Search

© 1994-2012 by Jason Fleshman

This page's URL is http://jasonfleshman.net

This page last updated Mar 19, 2011 6:53:22 PM.