JF :: Brain Farts :: Archive of June, 2002

Archive of June, 2002

Wrap Your Brain Around This

June 29, 2002:

Here's something I found in another blog about the scales the universe operates on. I'm a little disappointed that they stopped when they did; they could have gone down to quarks and then down to 10^-35 meters for vacuum (zero-point) energy. But I guess "face-to-face with a proton" is sufficient :)

"I Pledge Dis-pleasance..."

June 28, 2002:

Hey, the pledge of allegience invokes God and is thus a no-no. In that vein, let's analyze this sucker and see if it's worth all the fuss.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America ...

I sure as hell don't. It's a chunk of cloth. Aside from identifying public buildings, a flag is pretty much worthless. Nobody ever fought for a flag; it's just a symbol. And symbols ain't worth shit.

... and to the republic for which it stands, ...

Well, this part ain't too bad. Although I wouldn't say "allegiance" since it kind of implies undying loyalty. I'll defend the place from invasion and all, but I think it's my civic duty to point out all bullshit I see. But, well, I do prefer this place to anywhere else I've been.

... one nation, under God, ...

Blah, blah, blah. Non-existant made-up super-being. Blah, blah, blah.

... indivisible, ...

Well, except for that minor incident in the early 1860s, I guess.

... with liberty and justice for all.

Snkkkt. OK, now that I've had my cynical, barely-contained laugh I'll just say that there are a lot of people here who think that there isn't a whole lot of liberty or justice. And the ones below the poverty line are probably right. I'm not going to get into the whole White-guilt thing (because I think it's ridiculous) but things are very uneven depending on socio-economic status.

So, the whole thing is just feel-good tripe from the 1950s. Us good, Commies bad; and all that fun stuff. Just scrap the damn thing.

It's Like They're Giving Me Material

June 27, 2002:

Well, WorldCom is living through its own Enron-hell. They apparently mis-labeled four billion dollars of expenses/debt -- a company is allowed to spread out the cost of, say, office equipment to make its bottomline look better -- that it had to count right away. Instead of profits over the last five quarters, they're now looking at 15 months in the red.

And are they ever getting smacked for it. Trading in WorldCom was halted on the NASDAQ exchange when its shares lost more than 70% of their value; the price is now frozen at 23¢ per share. They've also fired a couple of their executives. Fun.

On Government, Part II

June 26, 2002:

The secret to a successful government is doing less, not more. The more the government sinks its tentacles into the private sector (or what should be the privtae sector) the worse things become. Here's Jason's Guide to Beginning Libertarianism:

1. Any operation that can be done on a per-person basis should be privatized.
2. Monopolies (or near-monopolies) are bad if the monopolist uses its power to prevent competition or institute price-gouging.
3. The government should provide as few rules as possible while still making sure all parties behave in an equitable manner.
4. Any operation that cannot be done on a per-person basis should be handled by the government.

Let's look at a recent cry for bigger government: Enron's role in the California electricity problems in 2001. As per rule number one, since electricity can be done on a per-person basis, it should be privatized, as California tried to do. However, Enron used its market-share to gouge its customers (the utilities) (there goes rule #2) while the utilities had to freeze prices (breaking rule #1) causing the rolling blackouts. Also, the government failed to act on what was happening, even though I'm (fairly) sure there were already rules on the book (rule #3).

Now, why should things like utilities be privatized? For the simple reason that the consumers benefit more from it. When I was growing up, I lived in Akron. Warner Cable (now a part of AOLTW) was granted a monopoly for the area. Cleveland, 30 miles to the north, had competition between its cable providers. The result? Cleveland had better channel selection and lower prices than Akron. The customers won. Now, how is this different from electricity, natural gas and even water? I would say that it isn't.

What I'm basically trying to get at here is this: Businesses know how to run businesses a lot better than the government (take a look at some of the budget deficits we've run lately). All the government should be doing is making sure that everybody starts with a level playing field. Other than that, it should just leave everybody alone.

Right On Time

June 25, 2002:

Another week, another pointless power failure. Apparently Duquesne Light likes to party like it's 1899. This time I had to wait several minutes for my DSL modem to "calm down" afterward and be willing to connect again. One of these days these power failures are going to fry the thing, even through the surge protector. And then I'm going to be very annoyed.

On Government

June 24, 2002:

(Why do these things only come to me at 1:00 in the morning?)

One of my favorite sites posted an update recently about why America is so messed up right now. It got me thinking about the whole right-vs.-left, big-government-vs.-small-government struggle that we don't seem to have any more. Unfortunately we seem to have made the worst choice possible: A big government with an extremely conserative bent.

In 2000, I was faced with the choice between voting for Dubya, who nobody knew anything about, or Al Gore, who everybody knew was the world's biggest tree-hugger. As I have this funny hang-up about the government helping itself to my money, I decided on Mystery Boy. I figured he'd B.S. his way through a term, everyone would realize early on that he was a nitwit, and he wouldn't be able to do a lot of damage.

It all went swimmingly for about eight months. Then came September 11th, and all of Georgie's uber-conservative buddies started coming out of the woodwork. With the exception of the right to bear arms, I can't think of a part of the Bill of Rights that isn't under seige by Ashcroft and Company. The FBI an do just about whatever it wants, warrant or no, the media are being led around by their noses in a way that draws a cynical chuckle whenever someone on CNN describes Iraq's TV station as "government-run," and we're all supposed to turn our neighbors over to the Gestapo if they let go of a fart that sounds kind of like Arabic. Wonderful.

I think we can all agree that the way things are being run here on the homefront are so far from American ideals that they look more like the people we're at "war" against than something that should happen here. Now it's just a matter of being able to undo the damage before it's too late. (I'm pretty sure it's not too late just yet.)

All these new "security" measures need to be scrapped. Letting the FBI read all my e-mails (and forcing my ISP to help them) isn't stopping terrorism -- it's an illegal wiretap plain and simple. Is it helping at all? I personally doubt it, but I have nothing to back that up. But even if it does, how can anyone justify trampling the rights of a quarter-billion people to maybe find one or two? Would you allow the police to randomly search your garage because someone's car had been stolen? Of course not. This is fundamentally the same thing. If they have some sort of intelligence saying someone might be a terrorist, by all means get a warrant and inspect every byte of their hard drive. But until then, leave them alone.

Now I have a new fear: I know Dubya's not going to get re-elected. I'm just worried that the Dems are going to run somebody that makes FDR look like a conservative and I'll have to vote for him just to keep the GOP out of the White House for four years.

What do you think the chances are of installing a parliamentary system by 2004?

To Do List

June 22, 2002:

1. Get a job.
2. Get a woman.
3. Get a car that's cooler than a Civic.
4. Get out of debt by paying off my student loans.

I'm not sure which one's the most difficult right now.

And yes, I realize that items 3 and 4 would be made easier by taking care of number 1. That's beside the point.

Sigh.

June 21, 2002:

It's turned out to be another one of those weeks. Tech job openings tend to ebb and flow quite a bit, as I've found out the last several months, and this week has definitely been an Ebb. It really starts to make ya wonder if it's worth the bother after a while.

Snkkkt*

June 20, 2002:

Man, it's a good thing I've got Headline News on during the day. Otherwise I'd never be able to keep this daily-update thing running. Today's entry from the Stupidity Files: Fat people and airline seats.

Southwest Airlines, which has no business- or first-class seats in its planes, has told its managers to start enforcing a rule that charges people for two seats if they can't cram themselves into one. Obviously, the nation's super-fat-asses are up in arms about this. It's discriminatory, or some such ridiculousness.

Here's how it works, people: There are X chairs in an airplane. The airline therefore sells X tickets. (Well, they actually will sell X plus a bit and hope that some people don't show up, but that's beside the point.) If you can't wedge your gargantuan ass into one of their seats, they can only sell X-1 tickets. If there's another behemoth on board that drops to X-2, and so on. Essentially, they're asking the airlines to give away seats for free, and that's not a terribly effective business model.

Now, before you bash your meaty fist into the keyboard and spew invective laced with Ding Dongs as you waddle to the kitchen for a side of beef, be advised: I'm also a fat-ass. I'm 5-foot-7 and weigh 210 pounds. My pants have a 38-inch waist. And I fit into these seats just fine. So we're not talking about a problem for the 75% (or whatever it is) of Americans who're overweight. It doesn't even affect people like me who are (medically speaking) obese. We're talking about the very small segment of the population that has attained a spherical shape.

Frankly, all these people bitching about being discriminated against should stop to think about what they're doing to the poor soul sitting next to them, crammed between their sweaty hide and the shell of the plane (not that that's happened to me or anything). That person paid for his seat, and is only using half of it because your fat rolls have flowed over the armrest into his space. Frankly, I'd rather sit next to someone who snores and chews with his mouth open.

* "Snkkkt" is the typed approximation of a barely-contained laugh. Why am I laughing? Imagine some 500-pounder trying to take his double-wide seat and forgetting to move the armrest. That'll be a good start.

No, Really?

June 19, 2002:

Seen on Headline News, from the No-Shit Department: Super-sized meals, movie-theater popcorn, etc., have a lot more calories than their regular-sized counterparts.

Thanks for droppin' the science on me.

Another Win, and People Might Start to Care

June 18, 2002:

How about that... USA beat Mexico 2-0 early Monday morning to advance to the World Cup quarter-finals. Apparently they haven't gotten this far in several decades.

I wonder how far they'll have to get for people like me to have any more than a passing interest in soccer.

Paying For My Stupidity

June 17, 2002:

Not in a serious way, mind you, just in an annoying way.

Before tonight (8 Jun) I'd missed two episodes of Cowboy Bebop on Adult Swim. The first time was when I fouled up recording it during Rob & Allison's reception. The next time was when I spent longer at Dawn's birthday party than I planned on. Then I watched on the 8th, and I was completely lost.

Damn the Japanese and their non-magic-reset-button-using cartoons.

Shouldn't I Have Learned By Now?

June 15, 2002:

I've been sleeping with the windows open for more than two weeks now. So why does the paper hitting the front porch, right outside the window, still startle me every damn morning?

<keanu>Whoa...</keanu>

June 14, 2002:

Every once in a while, I see something on Headline News that makes it worth having it on in the background all day. Today was one of those days.

I'll forgive you if you think this sounds like something straight out of Star Trek: There are five people in Canada who have had electrodes implanted in their brains that, when connected to a computer attached to a pair of sunglasses with a camera in them, let blind people "see" in a low-resolution grayscale similar to a dot-matrix printout. When I say it's low-res I mean it -- I doubt it's even 100x100 -- but it's a start.

Maybe the only mistake Roddenberry made with Geordi LaForge (a blind character who uses a half-inch-thick device over his eyes to see) is that we'll get to that point long before the late 24th century.

Let There Be Light Pollution

June 13, 2002:

When the power went out Thursday, I walked outside to see if I could see what was going on. As usual the sky was overcast (it had been steadily drizzling most of the day). But it wasn't dark, by a long shot. The sky was lit up like it was just after dusk instead of just after midnight, and I could see the houses on the street fairly clearly. It's a good thing I'm not an amateur astronomer.

Let the World Rejoice!

June 12, 2002:

Couldn't help but pass this one on:

Yet Another Comic from May 1, 2002. Copy from bareSquare used with permission.

Symbiosis

June 11, 2002:

A group of seniors illustrated today how the U.S. and Canada can feed off each other a little bit. The seniors are on a bus heading for Canada. They're buying their medicine there because Canada has a socialized health system -- prices for everything are controlled. They're balanced out by Canadians coming into America for rare, new, difficult or timely medical procedures, because Canada has a socialized health system -- it's not worth it to stay at the front of the pack.

Too ... Much ... TV ...

June 10, 2002:

I think I've been watching too much Dragonball Z -- it's starting to mess with my dreams.

Oops, Wrong Switch

June 08, 2002:

Apparently, Duquesne Light decided early Thursday morning that we're getting used to power outages, so they gave us another one.

Twenty minutes, no good reason. No storms, no strong winds. Just a random outage.

It'd Be Funny if It Wasn't Happening

June 07, 2002:

Just saw this on Headline News: There are class-action suits filed against McDonald's, Pizza Hut, a snack maker and a Florida ice cream place. The allegation? That their foods make people fat.

Hm. I think I'll file that one under "no shit." I don't think there's anyone out there who doesn't know that burgers, pizza, chips and ice cream are fattening. And we all voluntarily stuff these things into our gaping maws on a regular basis. So whose fault is it, really?

One of the lawyers who filed the suit said that this was just like the Big Tobacco lawsuit. It'll probably win a ton of popular support, but the tobacco lawsuits were stupid, too. (Aside: Anyone who started smoking after the warnings started showing up on the packs knew what they were getting into and shouldn't blame anybody but themselves for their lungs looking like charcoal briquettes.)

Let's see how many millions this one settles for. Maybe the settlement will be disbursed on a per-pound-overweight basis. I'll make off like a bandit...

Four Years Later...

June 06, 2002:

Mozilla.org released version 1.0 of its open-source Web browser on Wednesday. Give it a spin and see if it doesn't convince you to delete that silly "e" icon from your desktop :)

Let's Hear It for Submliminal Messages

June 05, 2002:

My sister likes to talk about some of Disney World's gaggingly inoffensive methods. Like this: Basically, since various finger configurations are offensive to various foreign cultures, Disney employees ("cast members" or some such bullshit) are required to point with their entire hand; all four fingers must be extended. I tend to laugh at this, since it's basically ridiculous -- "when in Rome" and all that.

Fast-forward to today. I walking to the mechanic's to pick up my car after having its oil changed and tires rotated. Some woman with a Russian/Eastern European accent asks me where Shadyside Hospital is. I point her towards Centre St. As I'm bringing my hand down, I notice that I'm pointing with all four fingers.

Something to Amuse the Geek Contingent

June 04, 2002:

On the Spinnoff forums someone posted a link to Wil Wheaton Dot Net -- actor Wil Wheaton's weblog. Among other things, Wheaton played Wesley Crusher (the second-most-hated character ever) on Star Trek: The Next Generation).

Like some people I know, Wheaton sometimes does the internal-dialogue thing, usually with Wes (especially recently when he sold some Wes-stuff on eBay). In one of these dialogues, Wes points out that he's the one who "waxed Robin Lefler's [played by Ashley Judd] ass."

Then, on Sunday, TNN put on a Wes marathon of TNG episodes. Every time geek-boy showed up on screen, that quote ran through my head. It made it a little difficult to watch, what with me chuckling uncontrollably every few minutes.

Well, it was funny to me.

ABOUT F***ING TIME

June 03, 2002:

I called about my unemployment claim again on Friday. When I checked last week, the lady I spoke to said she'd print out my information and give it to a supervisor (probably because it had been so long since I filed). Apparently it worked -- The guy I spoke to said that my claim had been approved Thursday and that the check had been mailed out earlier in the day. I should have checks going back to early April by the middle of the week. It'll be nice to actually have some cash on me again. Oh, that whole "paying my bills on time" thing will be nice too.

A Little Late on the Update

June 01, 2002:

Y'know what? It's difficult to update your Web site when you don't have electricity. We had a good-sized thunderstorm system pass through here yesterday evening, and it really tore stuff up.

The pavilion for one of the Kennywood rides collapsed. The Greenfield Giant Eagle was running on its generators (cash registers were up, but not the freezers). When I went to feed Rob & Allison's cats I had to remove two good-sized chunks of tree from Beechwood Blvd. About half of Greenfield, Squirrel Hill and South Oakland were blacked out. So I sat out on the porch reading a book until it got too dark to see well. Then I went out drinking.

I pass six traffic lights to get from my place to Denny's Bar. None of those lights were working. You'd be amazed how many people don't know that a non-functioning traffic light is equivalent to an all-way stop sign. Judging by the people who were out at 10:00 last night, I'd say about two thirds of Pittsburgh residents don't know that.

Power still wasn't on when I got back at about 1:30 so I had to eat my Big Mac (what can I say, I had the beer-munchies) by the light of a flashlight. Fun fun fun.

But at least I got an update out of it.

Update: As of 11:30 Saturday night, there were still a few neighborhoods without power, and there was still a cop directing traffic at the intersection of the Bloomfield Bridge and Liberty Avenue (by the BBT). I may take a quick spin around town on my way to feeding the fuzzballs today and see if everybody's up and running yet.

Update II: Sometime during the afternoon the cable came back on. And when I went out at about 7:00, there was only one traffic light that didn't work. It seems like 48 hours was enough to get just about everything back online.

Site Navigation

Brain Farts

Other Pages

Site Search

© 1994-2012 by Jason Fleshman

This page's URL is http://jasonfleshman.net

This page last updated Mar 19, 2011 6:53:22 PM.