Wait, What?

March 20, 2007

I am an odd individual. And as a result, I have odd dreams. From time to time I even remember them. I'm going to put this one up here, and hopefully I can do justice to the weirdness of it all.


From xkcd.com, used without permission

I was taking a vacation in Russia, by myself. I went to take a tour of an old Russian naval ship, but it was closed due to the fact that it was suddenly nighttime. The guards (in what I assume were military uniforms) were all asleep at their posts, and one was asleep standing up, so I moved the large metal barrier aside and snuck in.

This ship was actually a club of some kind, and kind of reminded me of the jazz club I went to after a friend's wedding reception a few months ago. Then time-compression kicked in and it was morning, and I was sitting around shooting the breeze with people as they opened the doors and we got ready to leave.

There was stuff written on the walls, and not in English. (This is actually a logical thing, since this was supposedly Russia.) But since I don't know about the Cyrillic alphabet, the foreign words were written in the Greek alphabet. The one word I saw was ΣΦΣ[letter I forgot]. When I asked how the hell you pronounce that, a woman's talking dachshund told me it sounded like "teeth". Didn't explain what the word meant, though.

After that I accused some guy of stealing my jacket as he walked past me and yanked it out of his hands. When I checked the pockets my gloves weren't in there, and it turned out my jacket was where I had been sitting not two minutes before. I did apologize to the guy, at least. For some reason I was also wearing someone else's ballcap, with an old-style Cleveland Indians "C" logo, and what to my shoddy memory seems to have been the Buggy logo. I wore this cap the rest of the day, despite disposing of it at least twice.

And of course all these Russians were speaking with my American Midwest accent.

Then I left by the fire escape to avoid the crowding at the door. And possibly to not have to explain to the guards that I'd sneaked into their club-ship.

Walking around outside, all I remember is a lot of red brick buildings and a regular ol' grid system. At one point a double-length bus (the kind that bend in the middle) made a U-turn in the middle of the block I was walking down, and I had to climb a chain link fence to avoid getting squashed. This didn't seem out of the ordinary to me, but I have been reminiscing about Pittsburgh lately, so getting run down by crazy bus drivers may have been on my mind.

At the end of the block, a van pulled up on the curb and stopped for some reason, then another vehicle cut around them -- as in, even farther over the curb -- to go around the first and turn right. Again, this was no big thing, though I was somewhat annoyed that the guy cut so close to me without giving a thank-you wave for almost smearing me across the pavement.

My memory of things gets hazy at that point, but I think this is when I woke up. And I was very confused. In fact, I dare say I probably made a face much like that of the Daily WTF's mascot. I have no idea what any of that means, or if it's supposed to mean anything. But it was surreal enough that it's still in my head Sunday night, and the dream happened early Friday morning.

March 19, 2007April 6, 2007